


The Art Assignment

by Linorien



Series: Q-branch Chronicles [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Because I couldn't leave K alone, Because I have amazing memories from there, He also collects blackmail, I'll stop tagging now, Q is snarky, The hotel is where LeakyCon was, i needed more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-21 05:38:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3679959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/pseuds/Linorien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I might just know the perfect cover story for Bond. And he doesn’t need any knowledge of photography.”</p><p>James Bond is needed to collect intel on a possible dangerous weapons dealer and spy who has been flying under the radar. He will be at a prestigious photography conference in Chicago and Q knows the perfect person to accompany him. His older sister. </p><p>A follow up to "You Have A Sister?" but can easily be read alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revenge Mission

[ ](http://imgur.com/EfW5ove)

 

Q greeted Moneypenny briefly as he walked into M’s office with a slight frown on his face. He couldn’t understand why the man insisted on paper copies of everything. Digital was much more efficient. He walked in to see M hurriedly assuming a working pose; clearly he didn’t expect Q to be this prompt.

“Ah, Q.” He gently set aside the papers he was apparently reading upside-down. Q raised his eyebrows pointedly but silently took a seat. “I have a new mission for 007 but there are still some holes in the plan. I was hoping you could help with that.”

“Go on.” He leaned forward slightly. M slid a few papers across the desk. “We have received intel that Karenin will be attending a professional conference in Chicago in two weeks time. I want Bond there to find out who he is, what he looks like, and get to know his weak points. I don’t anticipate this being confrontational, but if it is Bond still has friends in the CIA who can help him out.”

Q glanced up with a small smile. “That’s not really why, is it? You are getting payback for the Chinese finger trap he gave you last week isn’t it? You know as well as I do that he hates intel missions.”

M scowled, annoyed that Q could easily see through his lie. “Maybe a little. And for breaking into my flat to steal my best scotch on Monday while I was tied up here.”

“You know he’s going to see through your excuse.”

“Yes, I’m just hoping he will be professional about it.” A single lifted brow indicated what the younger man thought. “Yes, well, I need you to confirm the validity of these rumours, figure out a way to get Bond into this conference, and find out how much Bond knows about photography.”

“It’s a photography conference?” He asked, flipping through the papers searching for the conference details.

“Yes. For professionals in the field to market themselves and attend workshops. Why?”

Q stood with a growing grin. “I might just know the perfect cover story for Bond. And he doesn’t need any knowledge of photography.”


	2. The Perfect Cover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bond and K learn of the mission.

“So what is the occasion Q? You never invite me over for dinner, let alone a meal you cooked by yourself. Are you going to break some bad news to me? Which country did you wipe off the map this time?”

“That was an accident and I fixed the error in Google’s programing before sunrise their time so no one even noticed.” Q crossed his arms and pouted, indulging in acting like a child around his older sister simply because he could. “And it is nothing of the sort. What is wrong with having one’s sister over for a meal?”

“We both know this is more than just a meal. You are too busy with work and being the role model of geeks everywhere to invite me over just to be social.”

Q rolled his eyes and finished putting the plates in the sink to wash later. “Fine. It relates to work.” He sat back down and offered her a glass of wine. “How would you like to become a temporary member of the British Secret Service?”

K spluttered and spit out some of her wine in shock. Naturally Q grinned. “Me working at MI6? Q have you seen me in any vaguely dangerous situations? I panic and ramble, I’d spill any secrets in a heartbeat. I freeze up and forget all of the karate and other forms of self-defense from those classes Dad made us enroll in. I hate guns with a passion and faint at the sight of blood. What in the name of all things holy makes you think this is a good idea?”

“Because you are a genius with a camera.”

That made her stop. “I don’t understand.”

“I need to send an agent to a conference to gather intel on a potential spy. We don’t actually know how dangerous he is, only that he has connections to people who we know are threats. He will be at the conference and I need eyes there.”

“I don’t know anything about this guy,” she protested. “It is a guy, right? I mean it could be a girl but statistically--”

“--it is more likely to be a male,” he finished with her. They had suffered through the same statistics class together. “But yes it is a man. I need you there not to be my eyes but to me a cover for my agent. The conference is a professional photography conference and I don’t care what Bond says he knows about cameras, he can’t come close to your level of expertise.”

“Q,” she said slowly, lowering her glass to the table. “This conference wouldn’t happen to be in Chicago would it?”

“Yes.” He blinked in surprise. “Why?”

“The IMAGE conference?”

“Actually yes. I take it you have heard of it then?”

K pushed back her chair to start pacing back and forth with barely restrained excitement. “Q this is the most exclusive photography conference in the Western world. I don’t know what your spy is doing there but if you attend this conference your career is made. Only the best of the best attend and it is very rare for freelancers to attend. This is the conference you need me to go to?”

“Only if you can live with Bond watching your back and having me as your boss for a week.” K ignored his smirk in her anticipation and only nodded. Q reached under the table and slid out an envelope. “I think you will be wanting this then.” Q could not contain his grin as his sister ripped open the blank envelope and unfolded the paper within.

“To Miss Kendall J. Wisher. The board of international photographers would like to cordially invite you to this year’s annual IMAGE conference in Chicago. It will be held at the Hilton hotel from April 24th through 28th. For complete details please visit Image2016.org and log in with the username, blah blah skipping that.” Q let out a snort of laughter. “We look forward to meeting you in person and helping to give your professional career the boost it deserves. Q you are the best brother in the world!” She bounced up and down and then flung herself at Q to wrap him in a tight embrace. The man might avoid all physical interaction when he had the choice, but with K he gladly wrapped his arms around her in turn.

“So you accept then?” he quipped.

“Of course I do.” She swatted his arm with the letter.

Q broke away from her and handed her a folder he slipped from a secret compartment in the kitchen counter. “Then read these few things over tonight and meet me at Pimlico at 8 and I’ll escort you into HQ for the rest of the details.”

***

Promptly at 8, Q, accompanied by two agents for bodyguards since he was a department head, met up with K at the station and walked back to headquarters. K had time to be properly amazed this time now that she wasn’t fuelled by adrenaline and minutes from collapsing with shock like she did as soon as Q had brought her to the privacy of his office. Which seemed to be where they were heading again this time. The members of Q-branch tried to be inconspicuous about watching her as they walked through but Q knew his people.

“You’ve all seen K before,” he said drily. “Get back to work. I expect everyone to have sent me a new proposal by tomorrow at 0900 sharp.” The minions hurriedly returned to their work. Q opened the door to his office to let K in before shutting and locking it behind them with a few taps on the opaque glass next to the door. K was startled to see someone else seated on the couch in the room.

“Your couch is as comfortable as the rumours indicate, Q,” the man said, rising from the apparently quite comfortable piece of furniture.

“Good morning, M. I have brought you your temporary agent and expert in all things photography related.” Q went behind his desk and indicated for them to both sit down in the chairs opposite. “K this is M. M, meet my sister.”

“Sister, huh?” He shook out his hand and they shook.

“I suppose you didn’t know Q had a sister,” K smiled.

“The thought hadn’t crossed my mind. His personal files are the most secure in the whole government I expect.”

“I’d expect nothing less of him.” The pride was evident on K’s face as they both turned back to face Q, blushing slightly, behind his desk.

“M, would you like to explain the mission or shall I?” Back to business, K nodded and asked questions when necessary as the older man explained the parameters of the job. Q added details when necessary and also supplied both of them with his plans for what tech to send them with. At the end of all this, K then asked the most important question in her mind.

“Is there room in the budget to buy new clothes? I need to look professional after all.”

M looked at Q’s smile and sighed; the kid knew this was going to come up. “I suppose so.”

“Excellent,” she smiled. “Are you going to take me shopping, brother dear?”

“Heavens no.” He looked affronted. “You know my sense of style. I have a better solution.” Smirking, he hit a button under his desk and the office door opened slightly and Bond walked in. “Bond will take you shopping,” he said with a smirk. Said agent’s eyes widened slightly but to his credit he took it in stride. “I can guarantee he will have you looking top-notch and feeling comfortable. All eyes will be on you. All you have to do is keep him out of your bed.” The smirk vanished and was replaced by a look of deadly intent directed at Bond. “I will not have my sister and my agent sleeping together. Is that clear?” K nodded.

“Yes sir,” Bond responded completely serious. He had learned from others how much damage Q could wreck from his laptop and he had no desire to lose his spot in the good graces of the quartermaster.

“Good.” He swivelled back to his computer screen. “I have booked you both on a flight departing tomorrow morning and arriving at O’Hare the same morning.” Flight details and other mission info began appearing on the monitor behind him as he typed. “Bond, see me at 2000 to pick up your equipment and the rest of your paperwork. I’ll arrange a driver to take both of you to the airport. I will let Mr. Leiter know you will be stateside so he can prepare backup for when you inevitably blow your cover. Just keep K safe. That is all unless M has anything to add.”

“Nothing for Mr. Bond. I have just a few words for Miss K but if it is okay with both of you, I can tell her while I escort her back to the station.” The siblings exchanged glances and nodded their joint approval.

“Safe travels then K. I’ll be in touch. Galu.”

“Namarië.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm continuing my headcanon that Q and his sister would have learned Sindarin because they could.  
> Galu-Good luck  
> Namarie-Farewell


	3. Impromptu Entertainment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which K and Bond explore the hotel, Bond realizes that the crazy genius trait runs in the family, and Q gets some blackmail material.

When they arrived they found a reservation for two joined rooms under the name Kendall Joyce and were led up to the seventh floor. They were fine rooms, not as nice as Bond preferred but it would do. He performed his customary sweep of both rooms to look for any bugs and found none. They were both weary from the long flight and Bond suggested they take a nap before rejoining for dinner downstairs. The conference started late afternoon tomorrow so he would have plenty of time to gather the layout of the building, mentally mapping it in his mind. As K went into her room, Bond slipped out his mobile and dialed the number Q had set up for this mission. It answered after only one ring.

“Hello. Have you tried turning it off and back on again?” Bond rolled his eyes.

“Very funny Q. This is Agent 007 checking in as requested.”

“Well I wasn’t going to assume it was you in case you mucked this up already,” he retorted. “You are at the hotel then?”

“Yes, not my usual standards but it will do. Is your last name Joyce?”

“My name is confidential. Absolutely top secret. Do you really think I would use it in a mission? It is K’s middle name. She started using it when I was recruited.”

“You told her where you worked?”

“She guessed. We are matched pretty evenly in intelligence. She just applies herself differently.”

“She is certainly more humble about it,” Bond said as he unpacked his suitcase.

“Oh just wait until you see her this week. She took to photography as I took to computers. Once she get on a roll she won’t stop. Don’t be too afraid to leave her and focus on your target if she gets engrossed in talking.”

“I thought you wanted me to protect her?” Bond lightly teased as he sat back down on the bed.

“As long as you watch your target, she should be fine against any normal trouble. Mother made us both learn self-defense as children. She is still very good.”

“I shall keep that in mind.”

“I won’t keep you from your nap any longer, old man.”

“I’d like to see you last this long without tea.”

Q smirked. “Thankfully I don’t have to.” And with that he hung up. Bond couldn’t help a small smile before setting the mobile down and falling back on the bed exhausted.

***

In the morning Bond woke to a knock on his door. A second knock told him it was on the door connecting to K's room. He released his hold on his gun to pull a dressing gown around him. Slipping the gun into his pocket to be safe, he opened the door.

"I know Q said you slept in when you could but this is unnatural," K said. "I'm usually the last one awake."

"Good morning to you too," he grumbled and stepped back to let her in.

“I’ve got some muffins,” she offered. He rolled his eyes and accepted the peace offering. “So I was thinking we should take a stroll around the hotel today because it is a gorgeous hotel and I wanted to take some pictures to edit later. And exploring a new place is always fun.”

“And it allows me to do surveillance?” Bond asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“If you would like to think of it as work then by all means,” she smiled in return.

“I am here on assignment,” the agent reminded her. “You are just here to be my cover.”

“Then I suppose we had better start establishing that cover soon. Get dressed and knock on my door when you are ready to explore.”

 

Bond showered and dressed quickly before joining the photographer in her room. Together they took the lefts down to the first floor and began wandering around. They explored the ballrooms, break-out rooms, and mapped out the many hallways. Bond continually scanned for hidden cameras that Q had no doubt hacked already while K, true to her word, kept finding interesting things on the walls or the ceiling. Bond was starting to question her sanity the fourth time she walked into a room and immediately ran to the center in order to lie down on the floor. People walking were not going to stop this photographer on a mission.

“And I thought Q was crazy,” he muttered.

“Oh he is,” she replied cheerfully as she rotated in a slow circle while pointing her camera upwards. “Just in a different way.”

 

They continued exploring for a few more hours until they arrived back in the entrance hall on the second floor and K let out a squeal of delight. She ran past the staircase and threw herself onto the piano bench she found there. She took a calming breath and stroked the keys reverently. She played a short sequence of notes with a soft smile before looking back at Bond.

“Do you have a favourite song?” she asked. Bond thought for a moment.

“Don’t Stop Me Now. Queen. Have you heard it?”

“I’m not that young,” K scoffed. “I’m older than Q, remember? Our parents made sure we knew the good bands.” She began to play the opening chords. “Can you sing?” In answer Bond smirked and started off the song. Together they harmonised, letting their voices intertwine and echo in the high ceiling of the entranceway. They finished and after a pause K broke into an even wider grin.

“What?”

“Q said that he enjoyed that. And so did all of Q-branch and Moneypenny.” Bond looked shocked.

“Well tell your brother that if he wants this gun back in one piece he had better destroy that recording and never speak of it again.”

K only laughed. “Good luck with that.”


	4. The Spy Work Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they identify the arms dealer and learn of a trade going down.

The conference got off to a smooth start the next day. When not wandering to different booths of vendors selling varied high tech camera equipment or attending talks with K to learn different photography techniques, K instructed Bond on the proper use of the camera that Q had made for him. It looked like a normal camera but it had far superior resolution than should be possible and the photos taken were directly uploaded to headquarters.

“So keep it professional, 007,” Q spoke up for the first time that day from their earpieces.

“Q go to sleep,” K sighed.

“I’m working.”

“This is hardly a dangerous mission,” Bond said.

“Believe it or not, 007, the world does not revolve around you. I’m here late repairing equipment your fellow agents have returned in pieces. I expect that camera back in one, working, piece.”

“I believe I can manage that this time.”

“K, if he is going to go running off, take the camera from him first.”

“Roger that. Only why not a smaller camera if you didn’t want him to break it?”

“Sometimes it is better to hide in plain sight. You taught me that. And it is a lot easier to fit my tech inside a bigger casing.”

“You mean you have not yet mastered Time Lord engineering?” she asked with a wink at Bond.

Q growled a bit. “I asked you not to mention that again.”

“Big sister privileges little Q. I get to ignore your wishes when I want.”

“So long as you don’t question me when it is important,” he sighed.

“Never.”

“Now,” he returned to his normal aloof tones. “Why don’t you go take a few normal pictures 007 to verify that it is working and to have some normal pictures on there to show others if the need arises. Your next talk starts in thirty-two minutes.”

“Come on, I’ll be your model!” K grabbed his hand with a grin and dragged a bewildered agent off toward the piano. “I need some new pictures for my website. Gotta look extra good for all these contracts I’m gonna get!” she giggled. Bond just shook his head and took pictures of her playing the piano, sitting on the piano lid, and in a variety of increasingly strange poses Q was suggesting over their earpieces as he took the tube home. Somehow both of them ended up having too much fun to remember to head to the last discussion of the day. Bond didn’t normally like the easy missions, but even he couldn’t deny that it was a good way to relax with just the right amount of surveillance necessary to keep his mind alert.

He identified Karenin early on and tested the impressive zoom on Q’s camera to take multiple surveillance photos over the next two days. The man was there in his own cover as a merchant selling top of the line scopes for high-zoom camera. Bond suspected there were some unofficial sales going on as well, the scopes he knew would fit perfectly on a sniper, but he couldn’t find any direct evidence of this. Q passed on a warming from M to remember that this was just an intelligence gathering mission and he was not to take any unnecessary risks.

It was on the third day that something sparked his interest. They were sitting in the back of a panel on creating professional websites when Bond noticed Karenin cock his head to the side and silently rise to leave. He waited a few moments before muttering to K that he would be following Karenin and setting the camera in her lap. She nodded and Q briefly acknowledged over the earpiece. Bond left through a different door and strolled around the corner towards the toilet just in time to see Karenin slip through the maintenance staircase door.

"Q?"

"It leads to the roof," he answered, already knowing what the agent wanted to know. "Take the lift to the top floor then I'll direct you to another roof access point." Bond nodded and jogged to the nearest lift, the door opening just as he was arriving. The car rose to the top without stopping and dinged open on floor thirty-five. "Turn right and then the second left. Access door will be on your right." Bond jogged to the stairs. "Target will be coming up thirty metres to your right as you come up to the roof. I have no cameras up there." Bond acknowledged before going radio quiet and stepping out into the sun.

Bond stalked closer and lurked in a suitable hiding location, out of sight of the two others already on the roof. He was gliding into place just as the door opened and Karenin stepped onto the roof. Thankfully the two strangers remained where they were and Karenin walked over to where they were.

"Bond," Q's voice spoke quickly and quietly in his ear. "I'm increasing the microphone's pickup range so don't speak until I give you an all clear." Ah. To record the conversation then. Subtly he tilted his head slightly so that his ear with the earpiece in it was more favourably angled toward the men.

"Karenin," the taller of the two strangers greeted with a deep, Russian accented voice and a nod.

"Shchepkin," Karenin greeted gruffly.

“I trust you have brought the goods we agreed on?”

“Yes,” Karenin responded. Bond noticed he was absently rubbing his middle finger with his thumb of this right hand while his arms hung loose at his side. A possible nervous tick or maybe a tell. More likely the former. While Karenin didn’t exactly come across as weak, he looked as fragile as an autumn leaf compared to Shchepkin. “Meet in room B5 tonight at midnight,” he continued. “There will be a power cut to that section of the building tonight so can be no extra eyes.”

“And we will be able to leave the basement with the goods without looking suspicious?”

“They are in nondescript casings that will not arouse suspicion on their own,” Karenin responded with a touch of warning in his tone. The buyer nodded.

“Myself and two of my men will collect at that time.” Without another word he strode past Karenin and exited the roof through the access door Bond had used. Turning back to the arms dealer, he saw Karenin release a sigh, tension flowing from his frame, before straightening up again and also leaving the roof. At the same  
time, Q gave the all clear.

“Shchepkin exited through the stairs I came up,” the agent reported immediately.

“Kristi, pull up CCTV in stairwell 12,” Q barked out at one of his minions. “Justin, when she gets an image use that to refine your search parameters. 007, scope  
out B5 and then go back to your room. M wants a video conference.”

“Yes, sir.”


	5. A Foolproof Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan is formed.

“No I am afraid that your word is not sufficient Double-oh seven,” M remarked over the secure video conference from his office.

“Neither is the surveillance images I received so don’t feel too put out,” Q added.

“We need images of the exchange of weapons themselves. Q-branch has been able to connect Shchepkin with a terrorist organization so if we have adequate proof that Karenin is associated with them then he can be escalated from possible threat to dangerous enemy.”

“Bureaucratic hoops to jump through,” Bond summarised. Q’s lip quirked upward in silent agreement.

“It’s those bureaucratic hoops that allow you extra cash for having a dangerous job and those same people turn a blind eye to your habit of sleeping with any woman you meet,” M retorted smoothly. After all, he has not been away from that crowd long and has yet to appreciate how differently MI6 worked.

“So can you get anything from the cameras in the room tonight, Q?”

“Maybe if I was there in person but if the power will truly be cut to that area of the building as he says then I am blind. I can get footage of both entering and leaving with timestamps but that might not be proof enough.” He looked disappointed by this. “And we do not know how much area will be covered in the power outage so even that may not be foolproof.”

“So what brilliant, foolproof plan do you have in mind, Quartermaster?”

“I’m so glad you asked.” A grin spread across his face and he sat up a little taller in his his comfortable office chair. “As a matter of fact, one of K’s cameras has a night shooting option. It is not perfect but it can do in a pinch and I should be able to increase the quality once you send the files back to me. She can show you how to work it once she gets back from her current talk in approximately twenty-three minutes. Is there somewhere in the room where you could hide and take pictures without being seen?”

Bond thought for a moment. “The room is sparse but I may be able to move one of the roof tiles and watch from above.”

“As long as you can see the hand off from your position and aren’t seen yourself,” M approved.

“And be sure to get pictures of what weapons are being sold as well. I may have a further task for you but I have not worked out all the details yet. I will text you if I need to speak with you later. I’ll have my comm link active either way.” Q leaned forward to hit a key on his keyboard. “K? After the talk on framing please call me.” He waited for her quick affirmation before muting his side of the earpiece once more. “If my idea will work then K will let you know and I’ll walk you through it.”

“I know you trust her Q, but if at all possible avoid mentioning the mission details,” M reminded him sternly.

“Naturally. I do not want her involved and if I told her she will want to help. I can already give you three plans she would suggest and I will shoot all of them down.”

“I won’t let her get involved,” Bond promised. “She is still only a civilian.” Both M and Q nodded their approval.

“That is all I had to say.” Q glanced at M on his monitor.

“Remember this is only surveillance 007.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then that is all.” With another nod from Bond, Q severed the connection and the agent relaxed back in his seat.

A while later, as Bond was thinking over his plan for the night, a knock from K’s door interrupted him and he invited her in. She sat down at the small table and poured a couple small electronics out of her hand. Bond cocked his head in confusion and joined her there.

“What are these?”

“Q’s plan. He said you would know what that meant.”

“I’m not sure I do. But tell me what these are first.”

“These are the trackers Q gave me. Well I say gave...,” she trailed off and Bond got the picture.

“How many did you know about?” he asked knowingly.

“Two.” There were six on the table. “Those I had asked him to put in my cameras for me. But the other ones he hid elsewhere. There’s probably at least one more he is either unable or unwilling to sacrifice.”

He nodded. Bond and his fellow agents were fairly certain that their quartermaster had teamed up with medical to put some new tracking device beneath their skin. Of course Q would deny that and say he only found them so fast because he rules the internet but they knew better. If he wasn’t equally as good with engineering as he was with computers, he wouldn’t be the head of Q-branch.

“And is there some mechanism to attach it to things?” he asked.

“Not quite. If you can stick it inside whatever you are tracking that would be fine. Q said if you had any wild ideas to contact him and he could help. Also if you have any questions.”

“I’ll be sure to do that.” He turned over the device in his hand. “Any other messages? How were your last two talks of the day?”

“Nothing for you.” She leaned forward and steepled her fingers. “So what’s the mission now? I know something changed otherwise Q would have given you new trackers with the rest of your kit.”

Bond looked into her vibrant, interested eyes. She hadn’t started pleading yet but he knew it was coming. “I can’t tell you.” He wasn’t sure if he would be able to hold out against her if she tried puppy-dog eyes. “It’s confidential.” God knows he could never say no to Q’s. “I need you to show me how to shoot with your night-vision setting.” He tried for distraction.

“Oh!” She sat back. “Q mentioned you would need to borrow that. Be right back,” she said as she rushed to the adjoining room. She came back with a smaller of two camera bags, camera in hand. “This works exactly like my other camera. I'll put it on auto settings, that's usually best at night. This," she held up a green disk, "is the actual night vision filter. It attaches like so and you click here to take an image."

“Why couldn't I just attach the filter to the camera Q gave me?"

"For one, different lens sizes. If you were in a pinch you could attach my filter to Q's camera and get a decent photo. But this camera has separate night settings so the quality is actually better.” The agent nodded in understanding.

“I will take good care of it.” She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t believe you for one second. But if it is returned in working condition I will be satisfied. I have been subjected to many oddly censored rants from my brother but I can always hear a special tone of his when the projects he has worked on are not respected. Your name has come up just about as often as you would expect.”

Bond only grinned his suave smile. “Dinner at seven?”

K huffed and shook her head. “I don’t know how you haven’t been punched in the face yet. Sure.”

 


	6. Eyes in the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a trade is made.

After a pleasant dinner of catfish and deep dish pizza, they both retired back to their rooms to prepare for the night. Bond took a warm shower before flipping it cold then stepping out. He dressed in dark trousers and a dark dress shirt, foregoing the full suit for ease of hiding in the ceiling. He slipped the trackers into his breast pocket and slung the camera over his shoulder. His holster went on and his Walther slipped inside. He then turned to the bathroom mirror with his comb and cufflinks.

Finally he slipped his earpiece into his ear. “Finished hiding those grey hairs, 007?” Q quipped.

“I must make sure my looks can kill.”

“I believe that is what I gave you a gun for.”

“But I must have a backup plan for when I run out of bullets.”

“You shouldn’t need to discharge your weapon at all tonight.”

“And when do missions ever go according to plan?”

“Nearly every mission not given to a double-oh.”

“Which are dull enough for you to hand off to your minions.”

“They need practice handling agents and I won’t subject them to double-oh chaos unless I have no other option.”

“You would just be too worried if you weren’t watching us.”

“I would be. Just like I am worried that if you do not stop preening in the mirror you will not be in place when you need to be.”

Bond looked at his watch and saw that it was approaching ten o’clock. “Yes, sir.” He saluted in the mirror, knowing Q couldn’t see, and walked out, throwing a light jacket on to hide the gun.

 

He reached the meeting room without any incidents and was able to leap high enough to pull himself into the ceiling without having to disturb any of the furniture. He adjusted the ceiling tile to give himself enough of a view of the room without the potential for discovery. Shifting until he found a comfortable position, he placed the tracers next to him for easy reach and used the camera to scan the room. As he had thought, he would have an almost unobstructable view from this location. Satisfied that he was prepared, he decompressed to the sound of Q’s typing. It was a relaxed speed, well relaxed for Q, so he was probably wasn’t working on another mission.

“What are you working on, Q?” he asked softly.

“Is the battle hardened agent bored already?” he smirked.

“Merely curious if you were working on an exploding pen for me,” he grinned.

“I’ve told you countless times that it is far too unpredictable. I do know know what the major was thinking.”

“What are you working on then?”

Q sighed and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and stretching his tired arms. “I’m actually mostly poking around online forums, keeping my ears open. I still have a few online identities that are active and good for getting early intel. And sometimes there are fun challenges to try.”

“And there is no way to trace those identities to back to you?”

“I wouldn't be quartermaster if they could,” he said smugly. “There’s a few that others in my branch also help maintain but a few that no one in MI6 can even connect to me.”

“So what have you learned so far?”

“Nothing of national importance this morning. It’s mostly discussion of a new operating system that is rumoured to be released soon. They are placing creative bets on the release date and on some of the features. They will be waiting a bit longer because I still have some bugs to work out and run more field tests. But there is also a new “Assassin’s Creed” video game that I haven’t downloaded yet; the others love it though. Glitches and all. There’s also updates on an international hacking conference in Berlin that I plan on going to.”

“Even if you have to get on a plane?”

“Nonsense. Trains don’t take nearly as long as they used to. And it will give me a little more time out of the office. R needs practice running the branch.”

“I might request bodyguard duty just to see the notorious basement dwelling boffin out in the sunshine,” the field agent joked.

“I was actually thinking of requesting 003. She has an aptitude for computers that you lack. She might actually be able to blend in.”

"Now I feel offended, Q. I’m hurt that you think so little of me.”

“Your track record with returning the tech I give you is all the evidence I need. 003 actually brings everything back in one piece and sometimes even gives me suggestions for improvements.”

“I give you--”

“Telling me that it should have built-in explosives is not constructive Bond. It’s actually quite destructive.” Bond opened his mouth to reply but Q spoke again first. “Bond.” His voice was low and serious now. “I see incoming targets on the camera. Karenin should be in the room in about three minutes. I’m going silent.”

“Acknowledged,” Bond replied before he too went silent and raised his levels of alertness. Right when Q predicted he would, Karenin walked into the room, flanked by two unassuming bodyguards. What they lacked in muscle they made up for in obvious weapons. Bond could identify six knives easily plus handguns and a grenade in the breast pocket of each. Karenin appeared to only have two simple knives but he also carried two nondescript briefcases which no doubt contained the sniper and a few other deadly toys. He set down the cases and pulled out his phone. After two minutes of poking at the screen, the room when suddenly dark. Bond switched to observing the room  through the night vision camera.

“Confirmed power outage in the area,” Q said low and soft. “You’re on your own.” The agent extended a finger to tap his earpiece in acknowledgement. Waiting for the other party to show up, he took the opportunity to snap a few pictures of Karenin and his cohorts. It was only a few minutes before Shchepkin and his bodyguards walked in brandishing electric torches.

“You could have left a light on in here,” he immediately grumbled in Russian. “How can I inspect the goods properly if I cannot see well?” he switched to English to ask.

“You can use the flashlights I brought if yours aren’t enough.” Karenin plucked a powerful camping torch from his pocket and, switching it on, lit up the room. It also happened to conveniently be pointing directly at Shchepkin’s face. Bond wanted to ask him what he was thinking, antagonizing his buyer like that, but when the other man snapped for it to be turned off Bond could see that he got what he wanted.

“Show me the guns.” Karenin nodded and knelt down to unlatch the cases. Slowly he lifted the lid of the first one. Bond could see a disassembled sniper rifle that looked like an upgrade to the latest model. He snapped a picture. One of the bodyguards quickly assembled the weapon and held it up for inspection. The Russian man felt its weight and drew his fingers carefully over every part.

It was while they were suitably distracted that 007 was able to shoot one of Q’s trackers into the soft part of the case. He was glad he had taken the time earlier to practice firing them across the room with the rubber band as a launcher between his fingers; it landed right where he aimed it and no one seemed to notice.  The gun was disassembled and placed back in the case that was then locked shut. The ritual repeated with the second case although this contained mostly extra sniper scopes and what could potentially be a miniature camera that could be hidden in clothing. Bond took as many pictures as he could until both cases were closed again and the men departed. The lights flickered on within a few minutes and Q gave him the all clear to send the pictures back to him and get some sleep.


	7. Agent K

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which K gets to play at being a secret agent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much physics I nearly forgot what day is was, but never fear. The chapter is here. (five minutes before midnight)

“Are you sure about this Q?” Mallory asked the young man typing away at his table in the front of the room. “Both you and I would like to keep civilian involvement to a minimum.”

“Please remember that I am a branch head who has plenty of experience making difficult decisions. This is not one of them. Trust me when I say this is the best option.” The quartermaster finally glanced up at the older man and nailed him with a hard stare. M put up his hands in surrender.

“You’re right, this is your territory.”

“Yes it is,” Q agreed with a possessive smile on his face as he looked out over his branch. After all, he had worked hard to get where he was and he was damn proud of it. “Is there anything else  you wished to speak with me about?”

“Nothing urgent.” He glanced at the stack of manila folders in his arms. “I’ll just leave these with R.” Q nodded and resumed his typing. Mallory sighed and walked away.

Q flipped his headset back on and sent a text to his agent and his sister for them to call him when they had the chance. Pulling up the conference schedule he saw it might be a while so he closed down his stations and pulled his laptop into his arms.

“R, I will be down in R&D. If you need anything I’m on headset.”

“Yes, sir.” R nodded and began sorting the paperwork they both hated.

It sometimes saddened Q that he was not able to devote as much time to inventing as he used to thanks to all the paperwork being a branch head entailed. But today he could write off the time spent down here as reviewing the submissions for new designs he had everyone submit. They had already been redistributed and reviewed by one other Q-branch member and improvements were made. Now it was his turn to look.

They were in varied stages of development. Some had been in the planning stages for a while, kinks slowly being worked out as the design passed around the branch to people of different backgrounds. Others were still mostly ideas and examples of when it would be useful. Q pulled up the list of those first. The best part about working at MI6 was that it really seemed as if nothing was impossible. Hell Q-branch had once made an invisible car for Bond. Of course that was also on the list of things Q wondered what Major Boothroyd was thinking when he made it and gave it to 007 of all people, but the point was that the impossible could be achieved.

He clicked on the first design idea from Elizabeth. A shy young girl who had been an intern the past three years. He was pleased she accepted his offer of a job. Her design idea was a modification of a common toothbrush. The bristles could be coated with a poison, fast or slow acting. Possible uses included leaving them in hotels as part of room service in smaller assassinations. An annotation added that a less deadly sleeper could also be used if kidnapping is preferred. However, a toothbrush with stiffer bristles and a fast acting poison could be a secret weapon that is in close reach for agents in the shower when they are unarmed. Q hummed thoughtfully.

The first use for it seemed like it would work well. Slipping things into rooms via room service was very common. Most people brushed their teeth at night and if it acted slowly, the victim would be asleep before it killed them. No time to think anything was wrong. But an agent staying alone in a hotel room with two toothbrushes would be suspicious.

He tapped to add a note on the document. _Two toothbrushes for one agent would be suspicious. See if you can add an injector into the body of the toothbrush to deploy through hollow bristles at the press of a button. Further possibility: can you shoot darts out of the bristles?_ He thought for a moment before walking over to the wall of drawers to the one labeled darts. Taking a peek inside he could see clearly that their smallest dart had a much wider diameter than a typical bristle on a toothbrush. _Would need to create new darts. Good start. Keep working on it. Talk to Joe Kelley about poisons._

Q continued reading through proposals and adding notes for ideas or suggesting improvements as he went. Every once in a while he would move to the large whiteboard in the room and sketch out some thoughts. He was working on a design for fairy lights that would dispel poison gas when the built in cameras with facial recognition software recognised a certain individual, when his headset beeped, startling him out of his mind.

“Q speaking.”

“This is 007 and K,” the voice on the other end responded. “You asked us to call in.”

“Yes. I have an update on your mission and both of you are needed. One moment.” He added a quick note about it not being as useful in the field, because really what warlord has fairy lights, but maybe the same technology could be nested in something else. Then he pulled up the program he had polished up earlier. “Here we are. K, I am sending a download to your phone. Accept any confirmations with your usual passcode. Bond, I need access to Karenin’s computer. The software I am sending to K can be planted on his computer by plugging in her phone to a USB port. K will need to be the one to plug it in and start the transfer while you keep Karenin distracted.”

“Why both of us?” the agent asked. “I can just go up to his room and plug in her phone.”

“Bond. How often I am away from my laptop for extended periods of time?”

“Never,” K interrupts. “He is practically married to Leila.”

“New laptop now, sis,” Q interrupts before Bond can even ask. “This one is Pepper.” His sister only rolls her eyes. “But the point is that Karenin would not leave his laptop out of his sight. He will have it with him at his booth where he is selling weapons. Out of the two of you, only one can pose as ex-military with a fascination for guns and the latest advances in sniper technology enough to keep him engaged.”

“Don’t worry, I will be totally safe under the table.” Neither Bond nor Q says anything to that and K realises that maybe she should be more worried. She doesn’t actually know anything about this mysterious person after all. “Right well I will be careful and I’m sure Mister Bond over here can cover my back if things do go wrong.”

“I can only hope that they do not,” Q sighed. “I’ll be on coms. I suggest trying tomorrow whenever you have found that the stalls are busiest.”

“About 1300 local time,” Bond said with no hesitation.

“Then good luck.”

***

Shortly after noon local time the next day, K was able to use a bit of her charm to convince a young camera manufacturer to let her hide under their booth for a few minutes. “It’s my ex-fiance,” she had whispered loudly once she was underneath. “I broke it off a few months ago. He acted so different after we were engaged. Suddenly he had no respect for my own career and just wanted me to stay in the kitchen.” Q let out a little snort of air through his nose at that lie. God forbid anyone tried to make her do all the cooking; they would both die of either starvation of food poisoning before any marriage happened.

“I’m so sorry,” David, the young man, replied. He scanned the crowd. “If you tell me what he looks like I can tell you when the coast is clear.”

“No, no. It’s alright. He’ll move on to look somewhere else if he doesn’t see me in a few minutes. Don’t let me take away from your business. Last day is always busiest.” He started to protest but she cut him off again. “Really don’t worry about it. Just pretend like I’m not here and keep talking to people. Far less suspicious. I’ll be out of your hair without you even noticing.” He agreed and returned his focus to the people browsing his display. K waited two minutes and began crawling in the direction of Karenin’s stall.

“Moving towards target’s location,” K said as she crawled.

“Likewise,” Bond replied and sauntered over confidently. He waited patiently for Karenin to finish speaking with his current customer and looked at the pictures and statistics displayed on the table. “I think you will be able to make good use of some of his files,” he muttered to Q.

“We shall see,” he said noncommittally. Karenin finished speaking with the other man and Bond swooped in. “Good afternoon Mister...?” he asked as he held out his hand.

“Mister Karenin,” he said smoothly, firmly shaking the proffered hand. “And you are?”

“Frauburn.”

“And how may I help you Mister Frauburn?”

“I’d like to know about these scopes you are making. I served in the military not too long ago and they looked similar to the sniper scopes I had used. Only far superior. I thought the military had the best but it looks like yours are better. Could you tell me more about them? I only understand a few of the basic specifications.”

“I’d be happy to.” The man smiled. “I take great pride in all of my camera parts and you have picked up on my newest experiments. Only finished last month.”

“I’m under the computer,” K murmured as the dealer spoke. “Plugging in now.” Bond made certain he kept Karenin’s attention focused outwards and only let himself watch K in the very periphery of his vision.

“Download complete,” Q said after only a minute. “Get out of there K.” Bond saw a pale hand snake up and unplug the cable. As he kept speaking with Karenin he heard her acknowledge that she got clear. Actually curious about what else the man was selling up front, Bond continued to talk for a bit longer. The introduction of being ex-military allowed him an excuse for knowing a lot about weapons and he intended to make good use of this opportunity. He would also be able to get a feel for the dealer as a person. Already he had determined that the man took great pride in his work and did not consider the weapons parts to be the best part of his personal arsenal. The man had a passion for modifying cameras and accompanying equipment.

He excused himself after a few more minutes and wandered away to talk with Q. “Have you found anything interesting?” he asked, knowing that Q was listening despite having muted his end.

“I have found so much that is interesting,” he said excitedly as he rushed around his department, looking over people’s shoulders as they sorted the files found on the man’s hard drive. “I almost want to offer him a job as a consultant. He has brilliant ideas for camera modification. At the very least I will drop him a note and encourage him to apply for patents.”

“Anything about his work with other governments?” Bond asked. “The dangerous part of what he does?”

“I have not found any records on his computer so far that suggest that he knows how his designs are being used. He has had contracts with countries that are both allies and enemies of the Crown. He actually demands that his customers do not tell him anything more than what he needs for specification. Smart strategy really. He can plead ignorance quite well. Certainly the lack of security on his computers implies that he hasn’t hacked into any secure records to try and find out who he is working for.”

“Is it possible that he did the hacking on a different computer?”

“Possible although unlikely. Even if he did not hack from this computer, he would still have better security on here. He definitely does not know the first thing about computer security. It’s less secure than my first computer.”

“Not everyone had a computer in their cradle with them, Q.”

“Oh hush 007.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a related note, due to the aforementioned abundance of physics (I'm averaging 12 hours a day), I have not been able to write anymore of this story. And thus this is the last complete chapter. So sadly I cannot promise a chapter update next Saturday, or probably the Saturday after that. I can however tell you that my class ends on May 29th and so I can promise an update before the end of June.


	8. New Contracts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief epilogue.

"Would you be willing to travel to England?" Bond asked Karenin the next day. He was on his way out with his suitcase trailing behind him and a large computer case slung across his chest. Karenin stopped in surprise.

"Who are you again?"

"My apologies, you must have talked with hundreds of people yesterday; there is no need for me to have stood out in your mind." He held out his hand. "Mr. Jets. I spoke with you yesterday about how your cameras could improve sniper scopes."

"Ah yes. I remember now." He seemed a little uncomfortable but he shook Bond's hand. “What were you saying about England?”

“I was speaking with my friend last night about your cameras and he would be very interested in speaking with you about the designs and possibly offering you some contracts. Unfortunately he is a busy man and cannot afford to leave London long enough to fly to the States, but if you were going to be in England he would love to meet you. He has been doing some work on miniaturizing cameras and while I don’t understand it, I think you might.”

Karenin visually brightened at that. His latest contracts had put him on edge. “I finished my latest round of time sensitive contracts right before the conference so I would be most happy to meet with your friend. Do you have his name?”

“I have his contact information for you.” Bond slid a fake contact card Q had sent early this morning out of his pocket. “He said to call when you are in town and he will arrange a meeting.”

Karenin inspected the simple but elegant business card and gave a sharp nod before slipping it into his breast pocket. “I was thinking of planning a short holiday to England within the next year. Maybe next month will be a good time.”

“I’m sure he will be pleased to meet you,” Bond replied easily. “Good day.” With a nod, the agent walked back to where K was waiting by their own luggage.

“What was that about?” she asked.

“Just a last minute question Q wanted me to ask him while he was still here.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Not that it made a difference to the double-oh agent. “Shall we find our own cab now?”

K narrowed her eyes, not quite believing what he said but knowing she wouldn’t be able to find the truth. “I suppose so. I have a lot of work to do before I can begin tackling these new contracts I have. I suppose I will be busy for a long time.”

  
Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I was closer to finishing than I thought. You only had to wait an extra day.  
> As you can probably tell, ending are not my strongest so any constructive criticism would be wonderful. If not, I hope you enjoyed the story. There are two other ideas for stories within this universe floating in my head but I can offer no guarantees on when they will appear. Until then thanks for reading.   
> Cheers.  
> ~Linorien


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